Building relationships from a place of centeredness
She says we have three circles of energy. First Circle is the circle of self and withdrawal where energy is focused inward. It is the energy of introspection and reflection that tends to drain rather than enliven others. In contrast, Third Circle is the circle of bluff and force where energy is outward-moving and non-specific. It involves superficial engagement with people and no personal connection. Someone may speak well but not listen at all.
Second Circle is the energy of connecting.
In Second Circle your energy is focused. You are living in a two-way street – you reach out and touch an energy outside your own, then receive energy back from it. You are in the moment – the zone – and moment to moment you give and take. In Second Circle, you touch and influence another person rather than impress or impose your will on them. You hear others and take in what they’re really saying. Second Circle energy, when positive, is generous. It begets intimacy.
You know you are in Second Circle when you feel centered and alert, have easy breathing, reach people and they hear you when you speak, notice details in others, are curious about a new idea instead of being judgmental and acknowledge the feelings of others.
Being in Second Circle means that you respect the boundaries of others as well as yourself. It creates a feeling of trust and a willingness to interact. Energy is about building relationships, give and take, listening and connecting. These are all characteristics of effective networking.
Having a Second Circle vision can be especially helpful in new situations and activities such as networking events where you may feel uncomfortable at first. To protect yourself, you may feel like withdrawing from the room into First Circle or taking over the room in Third Circle. A more effective approach is to set comfortable boundaries in Second Circle, allowing you to enjoy the interactions and make connections for future relationships.
The next time you go to a networking event, keep in mind the vision of Second Circle energy. Try to stay with this feeling of centeredness throughout the activity and see how it improves your networking outcomes.
Questions for consideration
1. What is your natural “Circle” preference? What can you do to help yourself spend more time in Second Circle?
2. What actions help you move to Second Circle? A focus on breathing? Listening? Noticing? Being curious?
3. When can you practice being in Second Circle? Can you identify specific days to concentrate on centeredness? Do you have upcoming activities where being in Second Circle might help your outcomes?
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